People are welcomed to walk into the hospital when in need of care; however, not all will be treated equally because of the individual’s disadvantages or advantages. It’s not that doctors are bias towards the patients. It is very seldom that the first priority of the doctor’s is not the wellbeing of patients, yet why is there an unequal amount of treatment amongst people of different groups such as race, income, and social class? Through analyzing surveys taken by patients there is no doubt health disparities is apparent in hospitals and the problem of that roots back to the patient’s privileges. One of the privileges of people with wealth is the ability to communicate more effectively; though communication between doctors and patients is often overlooked by people, it makes a huge influence on the doctor’s decisions and performance. Therefore, people with strong communication skills are usually able to get the most out of the doctor’s abilities.
David Hodges by any other name
I prefer David or Dave, but students uncomfortable with first names can call me Professor or Mister Hodges. (Sir Dave and Dave-a-lot are popular alternatives.) My ESL students' charming solution, Mister David, is my favorite by far.Blog Stats
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- A01: Stone Money (38)
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- A03: Stone Money Rewrite (37)
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- A06: White Paper (34)
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A01: Stone Money
- A01: Stone Money Assignment
- Bitcoin is not Portfolio-Worthy
- Bitcoin Projections for 2015
- Bitcoin, the New Currency
- Island of Stone Money by Milton Friedman
- Japan Prints 12 Trillion Yen
- Japan Shrugs Off Accusations of Currency War
- Japan's 12 Trillion Yen Stimulus
- Japan, The Economy of the Future
- Japan’s Big Spending Plan
- NPR Broadcast: The Invention of Money
- NPR Broadcast: The Lie that Saved Brazil
- NPR Broadcast: Weekend at Bernanke's
- Skyblue's Stone Money Post
- Spending Japan to Vitality
A02: Visual Rhetoric
A03: Stone Money Rewrite
A04: Proposal+5
A05: Visual Rewrite
A06: White Paper
A07: Definition (Category) Argument
A08: Causal Argument
A09: Rebuttal Argument
A10: Definition Rewrite
A11: Causal Rewrite
A12: Rebuttal Rewrite
A13: Annotated Bibliography
Assignments
- A01: Stone Money Assignment
- A02: Visual Rhetoric Assignment
- A03: Stone Money Rewrite
- A04: Proposal+5
- A05: Visual Rewrite
- A06: White Paper
- A07: Definition (Category) Argument
- A08: Causal Argument
- A09: Rebuttal Argument
- A10: Definition Rewrite
- A15: Portfolio Assignment
- E01: Bloated Paragraphs
- E02: Purposeful Summaries
- E03: Cows and Chips
- E04: Critical Reading, PTSD
- E05: Mechanical Trouble
- E06: How To Open
- E07: Safer Saws Claims
- E08: Counterintuitive Predictions
- E09: Advertising Failure Exercise
- E10: Enough About You
- E11: Rebuttal Exercise
- E12: How to Open
Blogroll
Counterintuitive Olympics
- An “Economic” Approach
- Corruption in Figure Skating Judging
- Counterintuitive Reform
- Lessons for Organizational Decision Making
- Mathematics Honors Thesis
- Open Secret Voting
- The Origin of the Problem
- The Tainted Vote Problem Persists
- The US-Russian Conspiracy
- Throw Out Extreme Scores?
- Transparency Increases Corruption
- Vote-Trading in the “Real World”
- Was That Jump a 6?
Counterintuitive Topics
- Anne Frank, Novelist
- Are Multi-Vitamins Dangerous?
- Banks Peddle Crap
- Counterintuitive Life Lessons
- Counterintuitive Psychology Studies
- Counterintuitive Social Systems
- Crowdsourcing
- Cryptic Species
- Disarming Iran Using South Africa Strategy
- DNA for Data Storage
- Do Better Work By Killing Good Ideas
- Do Toms Shoes Help Anybody?
- Elderly Animals
- Elephant Cruelty
- End-of-Life Care
- Ethics of a Three-Parent Baby
- Fish on Free Speech
- Free Heroin to Battle Addiction
- Go To Trial, Crash the System
- Happiness Cannot be Pursued; It Must Ensue
- How the Mind Works
- How to Armor Planes
- How to Change the World
- How to Make Doctors Worse
- How to Make Doctors Worse 2
- Human Life and Moral Choices
- Humane Food Labels?
- Hypocrite Romney
- Improve Doctor Accountability
- Insuring a Stranger
- Internet for Totalitarianists
- Is This Photo Ethical?
- Is Walmart Organic and Local?
- Israeli Cartoonists Curbed
- Killing Japan’s Zombies
- Learning in the Womb
- Life is Asymmetrical
- Massive Online Collaboration
- Men Define Rape
- Mitt Romney Not a Venture Capitalist
- Mormons Baptize Anne Frank
- Obama on NSA Reform
- Paper or Plastic?
- PBS Need to Know
- Pizza Hut at the Pyramids
- Predictions Grab Bag
- Principal Encourages Cheating
- Privacy is Dead. Long Live Obscurity!
- Sleeping On It
- Sponsored Parks?
- Student Wealth and Achievement
- Superweeds
- Surviving the Shower
- The Cost Conundrum
- The Curse of Oil Riches
- The Difference a Caption Makes
- The Hair Part Theory
- The Marshmallow Test
- The Monty Hall Problem
- The Seven Up Shame
- Thought Becomes Action
- White Folks Get Prozac
- Why Are Babies Cute?
- Why Are We Happy?
- Your Deadbeat Facebook Friends Could Cost You a Loan
E04: Critical Reading
E04: Critical Reading PTSD
E07: Safer Saws
E08: Counterintuitive Predictions
E12: How to Open
Essential Websites
Euthanasia Unit
Exercises
- E01: Bloated Paragraphs
- E02: Purposeful Summaries
- E03: Cows and Chips
- E04: Critical Reading, PTSD
- E05: Mechanical Trouble
- E06: How To Open
- E07: Safer Saws Claims
- E08: Counterintuitive Predictions
- E09: Advertising Failure Exercise
- E10: Enough About You
- E11: Rebuttal Exercise
- E12: How to Open
- E12: How to Open
- Rebuttal Exercise: Nuclear Power
- Refutation Exercise: Ag-Gag Laws
Grammar
Infographics
Je Suis Charlie
Lectures
Mammogram Unit
Net Neutrality Unit
Organ Donation
- Advocating Presumed Consent for Organ Donation
- “Not Dead Yet” Wants to Silence Doctors
- China to Stop Harvesting Inmate Organs
- Girl Successfully Sues to Receive Lungs
- How Organ Recipients Are Chosen
- Let’s Harvest Organs!
- Man Ends His Own Life to Donate His Organs
- Organ Donation Articles
- Organ Donor Vultures?
- Woman Seeks Euthanasia to Donate
PTSD Unit
Purposeful Summary Unit
Rebuttal Unit
Riddles
Safer Saws Unit
Sharing Channel
Vaccination Unit
Writing Help
-
Dev
- Research Position -Haveanelephantasticday
- Reflective-haveanelephanasticday
- Bibliography- haveanelephantasticday
- Rebuttal Rewrite- haveanelephantasticday
- Causal Rewrite-Haveanelephantasticday
- open strong- haveanelephantasticday
- Definition Rewrite- haveanelephantasticday
- Rebuttal Argument- haveanelephantasticday
- E11: Rebuttal Exercise- haveanelephantasticday
- Causal Argument- Haveanelephantasticday
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Joe Gramigna
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alexmoran17
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alivewit55
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americangods01
- Bibliography – americangods01
- Research Position – americangods01
- Causal Rewrite – americangods01
- Definition Rewrite – americangods01
- Rebuttal Argument – americangods01
- Reflective – americangods01
- Open Strong – americangods01
- Rebuttal Excercise – americangods01
- Causal Argument – americangods01
- Definition Argument – americangods01
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belldere
- Research Position- Belldere
- A13: Annotated Bibliography- Belldere
- Reflective–Belldere
- A11 Causal Rewrite- Belldere
- E12: Strong Opening- Belldere
- A10 Definition Rewrite- Belldere
- Casual Argument (Professors Indoctrinating Students With Liberalism)- Belldere
- Definition Argument- Belldere
- E10: Enough About You- Belldere
- White Paper- Belldere
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bigcounrty609
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bigfoot9
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bj112295
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breadpatrol99
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brxttyb
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crossanlogan
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cswilliams15
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dancingueen
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davidbdale
dontquoteme187
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douglasadams525
- Research Position–DouglasAdams525
- Reflective–Douglasadams525
- Bibliography–Douglasadams525
- Rebuttal rewrite–Douglasadams525
- Causal Rewrite–Douglasadams525
- Start Strong–Douglasadams525
- Monty Python–The Lumberjack Song
- Definition Rewrite–Douglasadams525
- Rebuttal–Douglasadams525
- Rebuttal exercise–Douglasadams525
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dt2018
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faded26
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fromcasablanca
- Research Position – fromcasablanca
- Reflective–fromcasablanca
- Bibliography – fromcasablanca
- Rebuttal Rewrite – fromcasablanca
- A11: Causal Rewrite- fromcasablanca
- Open Strong – fromcasablanca
- A10: Definition Rewrite – fromcasablanca
- A09: Rebuttal Argument – fromcasablanca
- Rebuttal Exercise – fromcasablanca
- Causal Argument – fromcasablanca
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hiralp365
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ifurreadingthisits2l8
- Open Strong- ifurreadingthisits2l8
- A09: Rebuttal Argument- ifurreadingthisits2l8
- Causal Argument—ifurreadingthisits2l8
- E10- ifurreadingthisits2l8
- Visual Rewrite—ifurreadingthisits2l8
- Proposal+5—ifurreadingthisits2l8
- Stone money rewrite- ifurreadingthisits2l8
- Critical Reading- ifurreadingthisits2l8
- summaries- ifurreadingthisits2l8
- visual- ifurreadingthisits2l8
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ilovenas
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jcirrs
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ljkvng34
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luckyleprechaun1
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marinebio18
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mymomshouldhavenamedmegrace
- E11: Rebuttal Exercise–mom
- E07 – Safer Saws–mom
- Research Position – mymomshouldhavenamedmegrace
- Reflective – mymomshouldhavenamedmegrace
- Bibliography – mymomshouldhavenamedmegrace
- Rebuttal Rewrite – mymomshouldhavenamedmegrace
- Open Strong – mymomshouldhavenamedmegrace
- Rebuttal – mymomshouldhavenamedmegrace
- Causal Argument – mymomshouldhavenamedmegrace
- Definition Argument – mymomshouldhavenamedmegrace
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ndb1996
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ohearnj8
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palal24
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peachesxo
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sixfortyfive645
- Research Position- sixfortyfive645
- Reflective – sixfortyfive645
- Bibliography- sixfortyfive645
- Rebuttal Rewrite- sixfortyfive645
- Causal Rewrite- sixfortyfive645
- Definition Rewrite- sixfortyfive645
- Open Strong- sixfortyfive645
- Rebuttal Argument- sixfortyfive645
- Rebuttal Exercise- sixfortyfive645
- Causal Argument- sixfortyfive645
suedejackson
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teddysdoggydaddy
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themildewmuncher7
- Research Position – themildewmuncher7
- Reflective – themildewmuncher7
- Bibliography – themildewmuncher7
- Rebuttal Rewrite – themildewmuncher7
- Causal Rewrite – themildewmuncher7
- Open Strong – themildewmuncher7
- Definition Rewrite – themildewmuncher7
- Rebuttal Argument – themildewmuncher7
- Rebuttal Exercise – themildewmuncher7
- Causal Argument – themildewmuncher7
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Public Display Name
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thirdlady226
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tpaz1
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twofoursixohtwo
- Research Position – twofoursixohtwo
- Reflective – twofoursixohtwo
- Definition Rewrite – twofoursixohtwo
- Bibliography – twofoursixohtwo
- Causal Rewrite -twofoursixohtwo
- Causal Argument – twofoursixohtwo
- Definition Argument – twofoursixohtwo
- E10 – twofoursixohtwo
- White Paper – twofoursixohtwo
- Safer Saws – twofoursixohtwo
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vicarij0
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wakeup5am
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wildcuttlefish
- Research position-wildcuttlefish
- Reflective-wildcuttlefish
- Bibliography—wildcuttlefish
- Rebuttal Rewrite-wildcuttlefish
- Causal Rewrite-wildcuttlefish
- Open Strong—wildcuttlefish
- A10: Definition Rewrite-wildcuttlefish
- A09: Rebuttal Argument-wildcuttlefish
- Causal Argument- wildcuttlefish
- Definition Argument- wildcuttlefish
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xchuki
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zoeyzoey0210
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I’ve been reading your arguments for some time now, wildcuttlefish, hoping that at some time you’ll offer an example of communication that improves care.
—So far, I don’t know how care is being evaluated. It doesn’t mean much to say that a patient “got better care” or “received more care.”
—I also don’t know what it means to communicate better with the doctor. I have theories, but they’re mine. It’s actually your responsibility to explain yours.
Stylistically, your sentences suffer from weak subjects and weak verbs. One good clue that your sentences are not doing their job is to count the number that begin with “There is” or “there are” or “it is.” In fact, since you have a fondness for a particularly weak construction, ALWAYS search for “it” in your essays. Your sentences are better when you can eliminate all of them.
For example:
1) People are welcomed to walk into the hospital when in need of care; however, not all will be treated equally because of the individual’s disadvantages or advantages.
—(Revised to place the emphasis on the disadvantage of having disadvantages. Makes “poor treatment” the subject of your sentence.)
2) It’s not that doctors are bias towards the patients.
—(Revised to eliminate the weak “It is not” opening.” Identifies the particular patient group. Uses the powerful verb “discriminate.” Indicates that the discrimination is not deliberate.)
3) It is very seldom that the first priority of the doctor’s is not the wellbeing of patients, yet why is there an unequal amount of treatment amongst people of different groups such as race, income, and social class?
—(Revised to eliminate several weak “It is ” phrases. Eliminates the weak rhetorical question. Replaces the neutral “unequal amount” with a clear distinction: some are shortchanged. )
4) Through analyzing surveys taken by patients there is no doubt health disparities is apparent in hospitals and the problem of that roots back to the patient’s privileges.
—(Revised to eliminate the weak “there is” clause.” Makes a straightforward comparison claim to replace the neutral “disparities” root back to privilege.)
5) One of the privileges of people with wealth is the ability to communicate more effectively; though communication between doctors and patients is often overlooked by people, it makes a huge influence on the doctor’s decisions and performance.
—(Revised to eliminate the weak “is” verbs and the weak “it” clause. Makes a straightforward claim with a robust verb.)
6) Therefore, people with strong communication skills are usually able to get the most out of the doctor’s abilities.
—(Revised to improve the verb.)
Revised Paragraph:
Do you feel the improvement of clear subjects and robust verbs, wcf?
Reply, please.
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