00:00- The ad starts by showing a young man maybe in his late teens wearing what looks to be wearing a baseball hat and holding a baseball bat. There is a man sitting in the bleachers as a spectator.

00:01- An older man maybe in his early 40’s is also holding a baseball bat, wearing a baseball hat and batting gloves. This man may be the boys father or coach.

00:02- Both of them are getting ready to hit baseball and are in mid swing. The older man is showing the boy how to hit.

00:04- The same people are now on a front lawn of a house practicing playing football. The boy is throwing to the older man and is wearing a football jersey.

00:06- The boy throws the football to the older gentleman who catches it.

00:07- The same older gentleman is now suited up as a catcher with the catchers glove and pads. He is getting ready to catch something.

00:08- Now the boy is pitching to the older man who is kneeling down. The boy throws a strike down the middle of the plate.

00:10- Now they are playing hockey in what looks like to be the same house as where they were playing football. The Older man is playing as the goalie and the younger kid is trying to score on him.

00:12- They are now playing soccer on a field where the boy score again on the older man.

00:14- The boy is now playing basketball on an outdoor basketball course against another boy.

00:15- The boy then passes the ball to the older gentleman who then shoots the ball and scores.

This entry was posted in A02: Visual Rhetoric, ohearnj8. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Visual—ohearnj8

  1. ohearnj8 says:

    Feedback was requested.

    Feedback provided.


  2. davidbdale says:

    OK, ohearnj8, Let’s go.

    00. I’m going to react as if I had never seen the video (which I just watched). If I can’t tell what’s going on from your description, I’ll ask for more details. In addition to a thorough description of the visuals, I’ll be looking for the “meaning” of what you see. What claims do the visual details make? We can’t tell from this description whether an actual game is in progress. You say there’s a spectator, which indicates there is, but you don’t mention a uniform, which suggests there isn’t. Could you be more specific? What if any impression do you get from this opening? Positive or negative feeling? Is the boy stressed, elated, or just focused on the game? Anything at all?

    01. Is the man in the same scene, same place, as the boy? Has the video cut to a new location? Do the man and the boy share the screen simultaneously? (Do you see what I’m getting at?) We would never conclude they were related if they weren’t in the same place. The open question: father or coach? seems appropriate and will probably take some time to answer.

    02. How is this possible? Are there two pitchers? Is there a pitcher at all? Are they playing a live game or practicing their swings without balls to hit?

    03. I’ll stop asking those questions now, trusting that you can anticipate the level of detail I’ll be expecting from here.

    04. At what point will you be able to answer the father or coach question? It would be odd at the very least for the boy’s baseball coach to play football with him on the front lawn of a house.

    07. This series of events you’re narrating . . . are they entirely without emotional value? You appear to be merely watching and cataloging them. What impression if any do you get from them? Imagine they are not just physical events but claims in an argument. What are you being persuaded to conclude about this man and this boy, this father and son?

    08. The boy swings the bat. The boy throws the ball. The boy pitches the baseball. Do you sense a pattern here you’d like to share?

    10. Does the choice the director has made to have the boy score the goal while Dad plays the catcher/receiver/goalie role advance the same rhetorical argument?

    . . . 15. All you’ve done is relate a series of sport moments in the barest outline, ohearnj8. The high five that becomes a mutual appreciation hand clasp. Dad’s finger point. The big smiles. We get none of this from your report, which does not qualify as analysis of the visual rhetoric at all.

    23-30. You don’t mention the closing screens at all, which although they are mostly static and depend on text to carry their message, are nonetheless visual. How, if at all, do the preceding sports scenes between father and son, enhance, illuminate, explain, result in the “lesson” of the spot: the command to “Teach him early that violence against women is wrong”?

    You do not have to commend the piece on its brilliance. If it fails to convey its message or persuade viewers to act or think in a new way, your job is to critique the flaws in the production. If it’s successful, analyze how it achieves its effect.

    I have not left you much time for your Rewrite, but approach the deadline as a two-part project, please. Be sure to publish your A05 Rewrite by tomorrow’s deadline, but don’t worry if it doesn’t reflect your very best work. You can continue to revise and refine it after the deadline. I’ll grade yours among the last since you got your feedback late. OK? Reply, please.


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