Visual – fromcasablanca

0:04 – We see a bunch of kids on a school bus. The sun is out so it’s a possibility the children may be going to school or on their way home from school. If you look in the left-hand corner, you see someone with a fuchsia hoodie on, so I assume it’s a girl standing up out of her seat. You also see a little boy in the middle of the aisle out of his seat as well. From the looks of it, the children are rowdy and disruptive.

0:05- A second later, you see the young boy who was in the middle of the aisle scrunched down now standing up. Right in front of him, you see a young girl turn around. The facial expression on the girl’s face shows that she is aggravated and is about to react to the movement of the young boy.

0:07- As the young girl turns around more to face the young boy who was once standing in the middle of the aisle, a young boy behind him with a grey shirt on reaches his arm out to the boy. Is he about to hit him? Or stopping him from interacting with the young girl who may already be in a bad mood?

0:08- Whether the boy hit him or may have just tapped the young boy in front of him, he got his attention as he turns around to face him, taking all of his attention off the girl. He looks as if he has been disrupted and confused. Also, all the other children turn back in their chairs to see what is going on. Did he hit the young boy? May this altercation involve bullying? If all the other children attention is now on the young boy with the glasses and the other boy who may have hit him, an incident of bullying might have occurred.

0:10-0:13- The young boy who was either hit or tapped by the other boy, gets out of his seat. It seems like the young boy might be standing up for himself by fighting back.

0:14 – The young boy doesn’t fight back or defends himself. Instead he sits in another seat away from the young girl that he was disrupting and away from the young boy who may be bullying him.

0:16 – As the young boy is sitting in his seat, another boy reaches from behind him and grabs him by the neck, in a choking manner. The young boy who was in the aisle and is now getting choked may actually be getting bullied by all the children on the school bus when all he is trying to do is make friends.

0:17-0:18 – The boy with the black shirt continues to choke the young boy by his neck. We now see the young boy grab the boy with the black shirt arm as if he is trying to stop him from choking him. From the looks of it, the boy has a tight grip on his neck and he fails at stopping him. This is obviously an incident involving bullying.

0:19 – Another young boy, who is a bystander in this situation turns around to see the boy getting choked. His facial expressions shows fear and that he is afraid of getting involved. Could he be next? Has he already been bullied by the same two boys?

0:20-0:23 – The focus of the camera is now all around the school bus. It shows all the students on the bus as they look frightened by what is going on but yet doesn’t stop the boy from choking him. Still the bus driver hasn’t stopped the bus to see what is going on. All of the children on the bus are being bystanders as they witness a young boy being choked on the school bus by a peer.

0:24- The last seconds of the commercial shows a black screen with the words “Teach your kids how to be more than a bystander.” It is big and is written in bold letters which expresses how urgent this message truly is.

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3 Responses to Visual – fromcasablanca

  1. fromcasablanca says:

    Feedback was requested.

    Feedback provided.
    —DSH

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  2. davidbdale says:

    OK casablanca, Let’s go.

    01. The text introduction that identifies the footage as real is very much part of the Visual Rhetoric of this video. Don’t skip it. Most of the Ad Council PSAs don’t telegraph what they’re about; they unfold and viewers figure out what they’re about as they watch the first time. This one is different. How does that change the viewing experience?

    04. Good observation about the standing girl signaling disorder or disruption. But did you not notice that the boy “out of his seat” has been pushed from his seat into the aisle by the boy in the orange sweater? That seems very significant.

    05. She does more than just look at him, don’t you think? She speaks directly at him in an unpleasant way. Is she lecturing him? Did he touch her to balance himself when he was falling from his seat?

    07. That his hand is shaped into a fist is a clue.

    08. Are you clicking through to the next second and not watching the live motion, casablanca? It’s pretty obvious the kid in the gray t-shirt struck the kid in the aisle. I hope you don’t think you have to judge everything you see from individual stills alone. You don’t. You can watch the video, but describe the events as they transpire from moment to moment, choosing whichever frames you wish to form the basis of your remarks.

    09. The bullied boy’s reaction is remarkable, don’t you think? Disrupted and confused is a good start. But he also suppresses his anger, if he’s feeling it. He doesn’t want to escalate the trouble. What else can you say about his reaction?

    10-13. Not the way I see it. Hasn’t the gray t-shirt pointed to the seat the bullied kid “belongs” in? To me he seems to be following orders. Is there a strange moment at 12 when the orange sweater boy makes eye contact with the camera? Do these kids know they’re being caught on videotape? It would add another crucial level of meaning to the scene if this is in any way a “performance.”

    14. Once he gets up, do you notice the seat he’s leaving still has two boys in it? The bullied kid was apparently squeezing in as the third kid in a two-seat bench. What do you make of that?

    16. Sure enough, this kid is taking abuse from two bullies already. Whether he was being abused by the kid in the orange sweater or justifiably ejected from his first seat I’ll let you decide.

    17. Agreed. [To streamline your commentary, consider naming the characters: Orange Sweater, or Glasses, or Baseball Cap.]

    19. Nice. This would be a good time to identify the relative sizes of the characters if you think it’s relevant.

    20-23. More accurately, it focuses on two particular kids, both male, who appear to be afraid of what might happen next. You decide why. Because they think they might be next? Because they think Glasses might come to real harm? Because they’re afraid they will have to choose how to react?

    24. More than that, the message identifies the audience for this spot, right? With that in mind, would these 30 seconds be more effective at convincing kids there’s a problem or at convincing their parents? Why? How are kids likely to react? Will adults take the intended action?

    I hope these comments are helpful, casablanca. I realize I haven’t given you much time to Rewrite by the deadline, so please do this in two steps. Be sure to publish a new A05 Rewrite post before tomorrow at noon, but don’t worry if you haven’t done a thorough job. Once you post, you can continue to revise until you’re happy with the result. I won’t grade yours until I’ve read everyone else’s. OK? Reply, please.

    19.

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  3. fromcasablanca says:

    I am so happy that you replied. It was extremely helpful! Before you replied I had already submitted my Visual Rewrite but only after rereading the directions as well as feedback that was left on other students posts. I edited my Visual Rewrite post just a little bit after reading your feedback. Thank you!

    Like

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